Bittersweet

 

(print found here)

Yesterday I was released from a calling at church (a volunteer position) where I taught the Relief Society (a women's organization).  I taught 1x a month and I LOVED it.  It was the perfect calling in my life right now where I don't have to prepare a lesson every week and I can go to the adult classes with no other weekly job to do.  I could sit and enjoy every Sunday, comment in class when I wanted to, and have zero other responsibility except for 1x a month.  And during that one Sunday, I was filled with gratitude to have the privilege to teach and learn and grow in that one hour.  Sometimes I felt jumbled in my presentation, but overall I felt like it was received well by the women attending and I always received an encouraging response and a simple feeling of joy.

And yet--I was asked to leave that ideal calling to be the Primary Music Leader (the chorister in our children's group).  It was a calling I have done a zillion times before.  There is nothing wrong with the calling, but I was NOT happy about it.  

I was a little ticked off, actually. Why did I have to leave something so perfect for me?

Yesterday when the news was announced I was in awe of how so many women were SAD that I would no longer be teaching.  I received so many compliments about my efforts and how I will be missed.  The Relief Society President even used the word "heartbroken" in class.  It made me feel so loved and surprised at such a response and valued.  I tried hard not to be sad about going elsewhere, but I just WAS. 

And then--as if an answer to a prayer--I was reminded how this is the last year that my daughter would be attending Primary and how I would now have the opportunity to be a part of that with her.  It surprised me--that I hadn't thought about that before--and what a blessing that will be to me and hopefully to her.

She is growing up so fast!  I try so hard to remember her as a little girl, but that almost seems impossible because she has grown into such a lovely young lady and how can I see anything else?  

There are moments I don't want to miss because I am already missing so many. They are both in school all day, I work, and the business of life often takes precedence over quality moments with my kids.  Time is fleeting and unlike before, I can thankfully now be a part of their life for two short extra hours every Sunday.  

Bittersweet, indeed.