Light bulb.

 my green and white afghan thrift store purchase.  love.  

Dude.  Light bulb.  Rowdy and I were conversing last night (sometimes we married couples do that) and I was lamenting about how I am suffocating in our apartment.  I can't change anything--there is no other way our bed can face and there is no other way our couch can be arranged and I am super sick of feeling restricted space and decor-wise.  It's hard for me.  Interior design--bringing out my unique style--is something I love and I honest to goodness just can't do it where I am at.  I have spent a lot of time trying to.  Or feeling bad that I can't.  Or being irritated with how restricted I feel right now and can't I somehow do something that would make me feel better about our currents set-up? 

Then Rowdy said to me, "Why are you spending so much of your energy being frustrated with such a temporary time in our lives?  We won't be living in this apartment long enough for anything you do to matter. Try to find a way to be at peace for now...because it's such a small amount of time in the grand scheme of things."

This thought has never occurred to me before.  To be at peace with what I cannot change.

You see, I have always thought I could change anything because if I was creative enough...I could find a way to make it work.  But instead, I have been banging my head against the wall with frustration that my dresser can't fit anywhere else in my room and with that said, I must be missing some element to make it fit somewhere else in the room. But guess what?  It seriously can't fit anywhere else in the room!  For gosh sakes.  I can stop thinking about it!

Instead.  I can be at peace knowing that where I am at and how my apartment looks is simply temporary.  My style can be arranged in the future and just because I cannot do it now, does not mean I am any less unique or creative.  WHAT IF I spent that energy on a different aspect of my life?  WHAT IF I took that focus and created something different?  WHAT IF I channeled my passion into something greater and of more importance in the here and now?  


Good idea, no?