How To Forget Your Kid's First Day Of School

I posted this on Facebook, but because I got such a following of laughing hysteria I figured it was blog worthy, too. 

 2nd Grade

HOW TO FORGET YOUR KID'S FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL:

1. Record on your calendar 3 months in advance that your daughter will be starting school on the 3rd, and your son will be starting school on the 4th. Since she is now in middle school, they have the 6th graders go a day early in order to adjust and then bring the 7th-8th graders the next day. So that means that elementary school starts that next day, too. It only makes sense.

2. Take daughter to school, lament that you can't get a picture with both kids together since they start school on different days. Then go home, take an extra hour to get ready for work and let son lounge in his pajamas a bit longer. Then bring son to work with you since you no longer have a babysitter for the day and give him your phone to play games while you work.

3. Take a quick Facebook status update break and suddenly see a friend post a photo of her kids back-to-school-pose. Think, "She must have forgotten it's TOMORROW and she is going to show up to an empty school." (Actually think this thought. No joke) THEN suddenly think, "There is no way that she would have gotten the day wrong and quickly Google the school start date." See SEPTEMBER 3RD, 2013 stare back at you. SCREAM.

4. Panic. Run home, comb his hair, pick out better clothes, find clean socks, can't find clean socks, put on dirty socks, throw backpack at son and race out the door. In the meantime, call husband and sob uncontrollably about how you are a horrible mother...so much that he cannot actually understand what you are saying and believes someone has died.

5. Feel like the drive takes 2x as long as normal. Park car. Check time. 2 hours late. Take quick picture of kid. Rush into office. Fill out tardy slip. Apologize profusely to the office and say something like,"SO...it was the funniest thing......" as you flip your hair in embarrassment. Take him to see his teacher who has already started teaching and interrupt to bring in her new student. Smile, sneak out, and cringe as you collapse in your car KNOWING that this was one of your biggest fails.

This Mom Gig. Sometimes it's harder than it looks.

6th Grade