A couple things I learned from my trip to Hong Kong:

 (on the subway to Sha Tin)

1.  Traveling sucks.  Between 2 flights and layovers and transport to and from the airport it took me 22 hours to get home.  So gross.

2.  We are WAY behind in technology.  I felt like I stepped into some futuristic movie with all the scan cards to get you everywhere.  Scan the card for the bus, the subway, the whatever.  I felt like all that was missing was an eye scan-which just might be in the works considering they seem to be on top of things.

3. When you make spaghetti and meatballs realize that it will taste gross.  For some reason,  cooking Italian food does not translate well in Asia--even if it's a tried and true recipe you make in the States. Ingredients? Air humidity?  Who knows.

4.  Skype is the best thing ever so that you can see your family.  Especially when they are completely passed out with ear infections, a virus, and bronchitis and crap--you can't do a thing about it. So just smile and wave at the computer screen at 2am since it's a different day and an earlier hour for them.

5. The jet lag.  Oh the jet lag.  Just remember that there are thousands who have walked--er--flown before you.  And don't EVER eat the airplane food. 

6. It's really nice to see your best friend. 

That about sums it up!  Pictures will come shortly...

Kitchen cabinet art makeover

I've been running out of wall space for my photos, so I decided that my kitchen cabinets could use an up-do and I taped some photos/inspiration quote prints on them.  Some people might call it cluttered--I call it makes me happy.

hmmm...probably should have wiped the fingerprints off the microwave and toaster first.  Oh well!  Now you have a picture to prove my imperfections!

I'm Here

In Hong Kong.  

View from my BFF's balcony...

Dear Aunt Beverly

email written NOW

***

Dear Aunt Beverly,

I miss you. Sometimes I feel like you are very near--cheering me on from Heaven, perhaps.

Thanks for thinking I am great. 

Love You Muchly,

Carrie

Dear Aunt Beverly

email written to me November 2nd, 2002 (background--we were just about to move in with my MIL for 9 months)

***

Dear Carrie,

Just got your message.  Hope you are still feeling optimistic about it.

Ya know, we happen to live in a very unusual time, in an unusual
society.  Our unusual behavior is that we don't live in extended
families.  "Normal" people in every part of the world since the
beginning have done so.

It is the way it is supposed to be.  We have forgotten how to do it. People think it isn't "cool".  And that ruins it for so many people, so many situations that could and should just go on as normal.

I'll bet you do well.  I am happy for Brianna, that she'll at least have a taste of the way it should be.

We just got back from Williamsburg. What a great big joy that was.  Something to remember.

How was Halloween?

Gotta unpack.  Take care.
Love,
Aunt Beverly.

***

email written to me November 13th, 2002

Dear Carrie,

Well I heard that the party was quite a success and that everyone was so happy to see you.  And that Brianna wore her cake well.

Your Mom is quite impressed with the person you have become.  (I was, First!)

While I'm tooting people's horns, let me tell you about your Mom.
She, via email, has become my primary support person.  The person I can tell everything to.  To unload, to whine, to worry, to anything.
Everyone, especially everyone going thru this, needs that. I have lots of "friends", but no one like that.  When she came to pick up William I was just out of the hospital and a total wreck.  She cried with me and , I think, made up her mind to be there for me.

Since then, I've recovered from the surgery, gone on Prozac and been to Williamsburg.  Feeling So much better.  But I doubt I'd be alright without all the emails we have exchanged.  She assigned herself the job, and, I can tell, she isn't going to quit.  I am very grateful.  Just wanted you to know.

Ok, now how about one of your nifty internet photos of Brianna the
Birthday Girl!

Love ya.
Aunt Beverly

***

email written to me December 3rd, 2002

Dear Carrie,

It has been so long since we wrote, I forget what the current subject matter is.

Winter is definitely here.  A little snow, not too bad.  But Really cold.

So many beautiful Christmas things in the stores.  Fun to look at.

I still haven't done the Williamsburg album.  The stuff just sits here in front of me.  What a bum.

Pete comes home tomorrow. Stays till Jan. 8th.  Then to Denver for 10 months in AmeriCorps. 

Are you guys healthy?  No colds or flu?  Don't know if you are more prone to that because of  all your illnesses.  Or is all of that behind you?

Are you mired in moving mode?  Still feeling positive about it?

Hope all is well.
Love ya.
Aunt Beverly

Dear Aunt Beverly

email written to me October 17th, 2002

*** 

Dear Carrie,

You absolutely have to send me a picture. Aaron in tights as Peter Pan!  Only thing is, won't you be walking around in a Granny nightgown?  (My memory of Wendy.)

I spent the day going thru a lifetime of photos.  Whew.    It started when I was so depressed and sure I had only months to live.  I decided I had to make up a small album for Pete.  Too much and he'd disregard them.  The more I thought about it the more I realized that the photos just sit there and nobody looks at them.  I don't really want but a few special things.  And your Dad said he doesn't have photos.  Nothing of our parents. Which worked out well, because I don't want them anymore.  Really weird.  I used to treasure photos.  No more.

So I made a pile for Pete, and a pile for your father, and ditched the rest.

In the process, I saw so many photos of you and your sibs thru the
years.  I am mailing you a few photos which will prove my claim that Brianna is your clone.

We go to Williamsburg the 26th thru the 2nd.  I am unable to
concentrate on worrying.  Keep thinking about the trip.

You are making yourself So Busy!  All the Halloween stuff, and then Brianna's birthday party. Making memories. :-)

Did you ever see the movie Robin Hood: Men in Tights?  Come to think of it, Peter Pan dressed just like that.  Giggle.

Have fun.
Love, Aunt Beverly


****


email written to me October 22nd, 2002  


Oh Carrie, you are such a honey!  I got a kick out of the package.  Its contents sat on display on the kitchen table all day yesterday.  And the book is-- well-- makes you stop and breathe and think.  I'm taking it slowly.  It isn't a "skimmer".  As well you know.  It seems to be amazing.  And it is extremely special because you value it.  Thank you so very much.

I'm still cheered up from the Make a Wish, and the Prozac has fully kicked in.  So getting your package just about pushed me over the top. Into Stupid Grin All Day Itis.

I am constantly a bit pleasantly surprised at what a special, kind, mature, stable and joyful adult you have become.  Proud to
know ya.

Gotta go and get stuff organized.  4 more days till the trip.  Looks like it might be cold and rainy and Sniper-y.  Too bad, too sad.  We will have a blast anyway!  We are actually Going Someplace!

Tell Aaron to give you a pat on the back (at least!) for being such a Sweetheart.

Love you muchly,

Aunt Beverly

interruption and a blonde winner

I am interrupting the last few Dear Aunt Beverly letters to announce that I was NOT the winner.

Ahem?

I signed up for this cake contest thing at our church for the ladies and I wrote (on the sign up sheet, mind you) that I would be the winner.  Even without knowing what kind of cake I was making, I was sure there was no chance that anyone could beat me.  I am full of cake-making confidence, you see. 

The night before the event I decided to bake a chocolate cake with chocolate ganache.  It would taste amazing.  Then my chocolate cakes stuck in the pans and fell apart much to my children's delight since they could now get a taste.  I said some unmentionable words, yelled that I was no longer going and that THAT was the answer to my predicament, and then I went to bed defeated.

But I was in it to win it, my dreams said.

So the next morning I woke up at the crack of dawn and made myself a yellow cake with a coconut cream layer, frosted with chocolate ganache and covered it with toasted coconut and crumbled Samoas Girl Scout Cookies.  

To top it off...as if my winning was even in question...I made a super cute bunting banner with some brown and white Japanese masking tape.

Winner!

That night I carried my cake to set it on the table and initially, I was taken aback at the prettiness of the others.  They actually looked good. And well, unfortunately for me, they tasted pretty dang good as well. But I still had a chance, right?

The voting began and there were, at least, 7 winners for different categories.  I didn't get a single one.

Then I heard "We did make up one more category though...the person whose entire cake was eaten!"

That was mine. I got a cute plant.

At the very end she said to me, "I felt really bad so I knew I had to give you some kind of prize. I forgot to put a number by your cake so no one was able to vote for it."

Loser?

hehe.

(seriously though...the cakes that won were delish and pretty and deserved every bit of winning awesomeness!)

*****

And did you know I went blonde?  Holy cake batter.  Another gorgeous picture reminding me that I need eyelashes.

Dear Aunt Beverly

email written October 12th, 2002

***

Carrie,

Oh, I have been so depressed and feeling so alone.  And then---and
then!---My friends at work got together and gave me a Make a Wish!

They knew I've always wanted to go to Williamsburg, so they are sending Bill and me for a week!  We will be staying in a resort, in a 1 bedroom suite with a kitchenette and laundry and roll out couch. And Pete agreed to come along!

I am SO Cheered Up!  Just the idea that they would do such a thing.

I'm not even bothering to think about Chemo and other delights.  Wow.

Don't know what to do with all this happiness.  So I thought I'd thrill you with a letter.

Hope you are happy too.

Love,
Aunt Beverly

Dear Aunt Beverly

emails written September 30th 2002

***

Dear Carrie,

Brianna's latest is on the frig.
Tell the truth.  You had her cloned, right?  She looks Exactly like you at that age.  Scarey. But of course, both of you are beautiful.

Thanks for sending it.
Love you.
Aunt Beverly

***

Dear Aunt Beverly, 
 

 It is so funny that you think she looks like me.  Everyone always says she looks like Aaron. You and my mom are the only ones that think she resembles me in the slightest way.  She has my eyes, but she has his hair, his body type, and lower jaw.  I guess she's just an over-all good mix.

    How are you feeling??  For goodness sakes, why didn't you tell me?  All of a sudden, out of the blue, Dad emails me and tells what you've been through and that he wasn't allowed to say anything.  You "Brown's" are all the same.  It goes something like, "Let's keep it all a secret because I don't want anyone to realize that not EVERYTHING is peachy in my life."  It's very old fashioned and you must stop acting this way at once.  Just think...if I had only known sooner, my prayers could have been heard sooner as well.     

    Well, I am assuming you are going to be down for awhile, so let me recommend some excellent reading material.  A Girl Named Zippy by Haven Kimmel.  It's hilarious.  You would love it. 

    I am dressing Brianna up as a fairy for Halloween.  I am so excited.  Halloween is my favorite holiday.  The only problem I am having this year is trying to figure out what I am going to be.  I'm stumped.  Oh well, it will eventually come to me!

All my love, Carrie

***

Dear Carrie,

Your Mom and Will just left 10 minutes ago.  Oh, it was so good to talk to her.  I really needed it.

I'm so glad that she found Jeff and that she will be happy.  But I wish Seattle were next door.

I don't know why your father thought it was a secret.  But it is kind of hard to bring it up to people out of the blue.
As in: "By the way,  I have advanced ovarian cancer".  Have a nice day.

Well, it happened for a reason.  Too bad it isn't easy to figure out.

If Brianna is a fairy,  think about who she would hang out with.  An Elf?  Cinderella? (As in fairy Godmother) A Fairy--Carrier?  Hmmmm.

Take care.
Love you.
Aunt Beverly

Dear Aunt Beverly

email written September 14th, 2002 

***

Hola, Aunt Bev!

   I am still recovering from a terrible virus that caused me to throw up over 10 times in one day. No, I'm not pregnant.

   I was fine, Brianna was fine, and Aaron was fine when all of a sudden Wed morning Brianna threw up all over the back seat.  Thank goodness for easy-clean leather interior.  2 hours later, I was puking my guts out while I was babysitting.  I had to leave work it got to be so bad.  My fever is finally gone and I feel like I can "function" a little better today. Brianna is doing okay, but Aaron just started complaining about a stomach ache.  Good  grief.  I don't know where we got this thing.

    Well, I'm having a big party for Brianna on her 1st birthday (cause I love to party).  The guest list is 50 right now.  However, my family is about 1/2 of the list (heehee).  I called my mom and said that I would really like ALL of the family to be there.  I figured I'd give her a couple months notice to make arrangements.  Then, I get an email from dad saying that my mom told him I wanted everyone there, so how would I feel if he and Cindi came down for it? Gee whiz!  Do you think he's serious??  That's quite a trip for a birthday party!   

     Brianna is now 10 months old and waving "bye bye", "come here", and "patty cake".  She's such a joy.  I wish you could see her!!

                                                            

Love, Carrie 

***

Hi.

All better, I hope?

It is always so good to hear from you.  And I appreciate that you write me even tho I don't give you much to reply to.  I've been a bit under the weather lately, so my "interesting quotient"  has diminished from its original teeney weeney.

I'm not surprised that your father at least hopes to drive down for Brianna's party.  He talks about you a lot, and has been so frustrated about logistics. Now he has a decent vehicle, he can at least try to see you.  We are going to put some miles on his Windstar this Saturday, going to John's wedding in far - off New Jersey.  Bill is going to drive, since he knows how to fight off the natives along the road.

How about a recent photo of the wonderchild?  Hug her for me, and take care of yourself.

Love, Aunt Beverly

I Love You Muchly, Aunt Beverly

(Aunt Beverly and I circa the 80's, obviously)

You know the family member who thinks you can't do wrong?  And even if you do wrong she still thinks you are great?  Here she is.

My Aunt Beverly died in February 2004 from Ovarian Cancer and my heart-strings tug every time I think about it.  I really loved her.  She was my Dad's sister and her son and I were only a few months apart.  He was her only child and really, her absolute pride and joy.  My Uncle Bill, Aunt Beverly, and Peter lived in Sunbury PA in a tiny half-house.  Have you seen those?  They are notorious on the East Coast and I lived in a few growing up.  It's a 2-3 story house, but split in two.  I remember every detail of it--the narrow staircase and kitchen in the back and the yogurt cups that she would wash so she would have enough cups when we came over. When my family went there for any occasion it was brim full of children and she loved it and I think loathed it at the same time.  There were just so many of us and I think it was shocking to see us overwhelm her tiny space.

I was the oldest girl and according to my siblings, the favorite.  I don't agree--I just think I had more time for her to get to know me before she passed away.  And even if I was her favorite niece, I am sure even in Heaven she wouldn't tell.

(Thanksgiving 2003 - My dad, Uncle Bill, Aunt Bev, Cousin Peter, Me and Brianna and Aaron)

A few months before she died Rowdy and I made a trip from Georgia to Pennsylvania to give her a Thanksgiving.  We cooked it all--a fried turkey that she had never had and was extremely excited about, roasted garlic mashed potatoes, and pies with pie crusts I made in Georgia and froze for the trip.  Brianna had just turned two and my Aunt really adored her.  It was a great Thanksgiving and I am so grateful that I had that time with her before she passed away.

Love You Muchly is what she would always write in every birthday card and often in letters. It's one of my favorite "quotes" to this day.  

Recently I happened upon an old folder of our email correspondence back in 2002.  They are small snippets, but ones I want to share because next to her son, I was her favorite (shhhhh!) and it is so good to remember and record.  And gosh darn it--I just love her still.

I am going to post a new letter every day this week in gratitude for the gift that she gave me...knowing I was loved. There is just something so darling and unforgettable about that.  

Love you muchly, Aunt Bev.

gifts for kids when you are away

This is the first time I have left my family to travel out of the country.  I've done a few days here and there solo, but nothing this big so I would be lying if I told you I wasn't feeling nervous at all.  Oh--they will undoubtedly be fine with their Daddy--but I will miss them, for sure.  I do feel bad for Rowdy, though.  It's a pretty heavy burden to do the single parent thing (I've done it for 7 weeks, in fact), so I know there will be a few nights where he's pretty tired.  Regardless, I am looking forward to the break tremendously!  I'm not sure what I am more excited about...spending a week gabbing with my best friend, or experiencing the vibrancy of a new place/life/culture.  Both, perhaps.

Every time I leave the kids I wrap presents for them to open each day.  Usually it is a little gift, or a new book to read, or a place to go like a gift certificate to Dairy Queen.  It's my little reminder each day that I think of them.  In this situation, I will have to schedule a Skype call or just email because an international phone call won't work and a huge time zone will make things difficult.  So--I have been thinking that my little gift to them each day needs to be extra meaningful.  I thought some with a Chinese theme would be fun! 

Some of my ideas of gifts to give:

+Go out to eat some Chinese Food at our favorite restaurant Hong's Garden.

+Check out THIS book from the library to read.

+Fortune cookies from the store (we are so lucky to have so many Asian stores around) or maybe I can make them with personalized messages?

+Chinese candy that my friend sent me.

+A printed out map of where I will be/spots that I will be going to and coloring pages.

+A movie night complete with candy and popcorn.

+Letter to each child filled with reasons why I love them.

Have you ever done this? What are YOUR ideas?