Monday, December 8, 2008

some answers

The past few days have been really hard. Kai would not take a nap all weekend, so his temper was, well, at temper tantrum level non-stop. I have questioned myself as a mother, I have questioned him as a child, I have questioned everything. What am I doing wrong? Why won't he start talking at the level of other kids his age? Why aren't I strong enough to handle him physically and emotionally? I have felt like a such a failure.

He is such a good kid. I adore him. But I can't handle him like I should be able to. He is so physically strong and then mentally strong-willed. When he's upset I can't calm him down. How much of it is typical 2 year old behavior and how much of it is simply the level of communication that he still does not have?

He'll be 3 in just over a week, and for some reason it feels foreboding. I had just hoped that by the time he was 3 he would be talking in perfect sentences, I guess. I really should be grateful for the fact that he is talking. But as he grows, his needs change, and his wants and desires and my reasons for saying NO just don't seem to be working together very well. I could really use some answers because I am just in tears over this...

And yet...

This guy is such a crack-up.

4 comments:

J said...

I honestly did not start talking until I was three. I am not joking. Ask my Mom. I think it is okay even though it doesn't feel okay. I hope this can give you some hope.

Sarah in the Middle said...

I'm sorry you're frustrated, Carrie! Kai's such a great kid, and I love him like my own. But you're right, he can be a handful! :) That stage where the verbal hasn't caught up is hard for all kids - poor Kai has just had to deal with that stage longer.
My only advice is that it is so easy to treat him according to his verbal level (when really, he's ahead of the game). There's nothing wrong with his ability to understand or be held accountable! (That kid sure can fly under the radar, can't he?)
You're doing great, Carrie! All kids wig out a little about a month or so after a big change. He'll level out again.

Anonymous said...

You are the best mom ever!!! I admire how you have been able to take your difficult background and become a beautiful, wise and creative wife, mom and daughter of God. You endured much and yet you have been able to turn it into lemonade!! It has been amazing to see you progress and be exactly what your children need and Aaron need!! Never doubt yourself, you have a direct line to heaven for the answers..... much love....

Mo said...

I'm glad you posted this. I always feel inadequate as a mother and it's comforting to know I'm not alone! Thanks!

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