Friday, April 2, 2010

gray day

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This has been a WEEK of gray days. The sun has peaked out some, but overall the rain has fallen not only on my windowsill, but also on my heart.

Last night I told Rowdy that I felt just like I did after that one break-up with that one boy that was not him. We can't count any break-ups with Rowdy because I am with him now, right? I have cried for days...well, not all day every day, but days nonetheless. I have felt heavy. That soul-gripping heavy that gnaws at the pit of your stomach. My body has ached without working out. If my body was going to ache, I would rather know that it was because I worked out. So strange....to have your mind and heart and body in one achy state. Either that is not normal, or I am very in tune to myself:)

I actually don't know why I am writing this post at this point because honestly, I have not fully recovered. However, I keep remembering that Easter is this weekend. My birthday is on Easter. General Conference is on my birthday. All in one happy bundle.

I know that beginning tomorrow at 9AM Pacific Standard Time, I will feel uplifted again. I know that there will be talks given that speak directly to me....to my soul that is heavy. They will tell me to rejoice in my life, to give thanks and to recognize my worth as a creative daughter of my Heavenly Father. They will tell me that the Death and Resurrection of Jesus Christ was for me, and for you, and for all of us so that we can feel true and eternal happiness.

I know I will leave this weekend feeling full instead of empty. I know that I will feel joy instead of pain. I will recognize that although gray days will happen in this life, there is a divine plan. After all, it takes sunshine AND rain to create a full bloom.

Happy Easter.

here are some lovelies from our trip to the tulip festival.
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can you believe Brianna took this one herself?
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I also know that these blooms are forever mine.
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5 comments:

Mommy #1 said...

I SO want to go to the tulip festival one of these days!!!! Beautiful! I know how you feel -- and I am also SOOOOOO very excited for conference this weekend!

Happy birthday!!! Did you make your jeans goal? ;-D Either way, I'm sure having it has moved you closer to it. Enjoy, enjoy your lovely day and CELEBRATE all the wonderful things that are your LIFE!!!!

Kristie and Ryan said...

Carrie, I know what you mean. Lately life does seem kinda heavy, or gray. I don't know why... there have been good things and good days, but there have been an excessive amount of challenges in the past month or so. I don't appreciate the opportunity to grow. :)

So, I have a solution. I'll put on my most colorful clothes and makeup (well, I'll limit it to lipstick, that's as crazy as I get) and come see you next week. I really want to.. I'm going to email you.

Love conference, it always is a boost if you let it. And I'm going to let it!

carlisle clan conversation... said...

Praying for FULLNESS of JOY for you this weekend and always! Happy Birthday & Happy Easter!

Pasion Family said...

Beautiful pictures of the tulips... I think we all feel lonely and not worthy. You know, I am always comparing myself to others, feeling untalented and not smart at all, but I know that (as you have said), my life is about living like Christ and I am grateful for that!

Pasion Family said...

BTW- Happy Happy Birthday

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