Monday, May 3, 2010

salt in the wound

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(I don't know where my daughter gets these random flowers, but there are always some on my countertop everyday. I have often wanted to know where she gets them (I probably should!), but I appreciate this bit of sunshine, and so I choose to let love be;)

Today was extremely hard. After a weekend of household sickness, I arrived to work still feeling physically down. I walked in and checked my messages and received one that prompted me to look online for an answer. Suddenly, there I was, staring at the worst possible reviews of MYSELF. For the whole world to see. It was nauseating.

Sadly (sigh), I was not surprised. Due to the management change where the previous gal was let go and I came in her place, I have not entirely been welcomed by those who loved her. Understandable? Yes. Unfair? Yes, too.

I was called unmentionable names online by those who remain anonymous. I was poked and prodded and kicked. My professional skills were attacked, everything I oversee was put down, and who I was called as a person? I would rather not expose myself to those sentences anymore.

I have often wondered how some very popular blogs that I read deal with the horrible comments of those who remain anonymous. How do they personally get through that rejection? I received one nasty blog reply a couple years ago and I was entirely crushed. Disagree with me? Sure. Put me down? Please no. It's a harsh reality that people aim to hurt.... and happily hit right on target.

I realize that I am freshly wounded, and since salt is being rubbed on in more ways than one, it is expected to sting. I know that time eventually heals all, but for the time right now, I'm feeling pretty darn defeated.

I'm trying to look at the bigger picture. What I can learn from this moment in time and how I can be better in the future. And so, here's hope'n that I will sleep well tonight, and that the salt will soon wash away.

7 comments:

theamazingjohnsons said...

I'm sorry, Carrie. They obviously don't know what they're talking about. Anyone who knows you even a little bit would never say anything bad about you.

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

I confess, I'm super sensitive to what people think and say about me. It really does effect me even though I try hard not to let it.

I'm sorry things are so tough. Hang in there girl! You're doing great.

Tara said...

I dont know why people have to put down other people. Why cause pain to someone else? I just don't get it. I hope you know how much other people think you are awesome and also can't think of anything mean or ugly to say about you if we even tried :) SMILE!!

Stephie said...

It makes me so sad to read this. Some people have a hard time seeing past their own selfish paradigms. I'm sorry they were so hurtful to you.

My dad used to tell us kids to be a "duck" and let it roll off our backs (because water rolls off a duck's back), but that can be so hard when you have a strong desire to please people and make them happy. Your co-workers will come around. They just need to get to know you! They'll change their minds when they come to see what a kind, loving, and totally cool gal you are!

Sarah loves it all said...

I haven't gotten a bad comment on my blog yet. Oddly enough, it makes me feel sort of bad. I do hope I never get one, but I truly believe that when people make rude comments about you or try to bring you down, it's because you're super special and worth trying to bring down. Weird outlook I guess.

P.S. you should attach your email address to your blogger profile. I always want to reply to your blog comments!

Pasion Family said...

Oh please know that Carrie that people only do that out of jealousy and anger. I am sooo sensitive to other's feelings and feel put down by rejection and incompetence all the time. In fact, I look at you and wish I could only be part of who you are- Smart, Ultra-talented, Crafty, and Very CREATIVE! I have to work so hard at this and you have it naturally- Please know that people can easily be jealous and you have taken someone else's role (where they may have wanted to be there or wanted to be like you). You are awesome and one of a kind and I have grown to love you and love what you are about!

carlisle clan conversation... said...

I really have no words for 'those' people...just gives them what they want. Be confident (easier said then done I know) in the gifts GOD has given you and leave the rest! Here is GREAT response to 'those' people: http://matthewcostner.blogspot.com/2009/11/anonymous.html

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