Friday, March 11, 2011

Cookie Monster

I walked in from work yesterday to a house filled with the scent of soul-warming baked goods.  Considering the fact that I am the only baker in the family, this seemed a bit odd. As my curiosity was piqued in more ways than one, I turned the corner into the kitchen to see Rowdy pulling out a pan of chocolate chip cookies.  Perfect chocolate chip cookies. 

And he said so.  Because well, it was true.

Chewy, crispy, soft, decadent, comforting, melt-in-your-mouth chocolate chip cookies. 

Although my gratitude for his personal baking triumph was welcomed with open arms, I could not help but feel a pang of resentment towards my husband. "I" was the baker.  Why would he step on my territory?  Why did his cookies have to actually turn out perfect when my attempts lately have been a big fat fail?  To make matters worse, he also mentioned that all my excuses, (the butter isn't soft, the eggs are not at room temperature, my baking soda was old) didn't seem to affect his baking abilities at all.  Thanks for rubbing it in.  Really.

But just as I was resolute to simply be appreciative, it got worse.  A lot worse.  

As he was leaving for a meeting he COUNTED the cookies. And then he told us that if we each had 2, then that should leave 16 cookies for when he got home, and if there wasn't 16 cookies when he got home, we would all have to sleep on the porch (okay--not really--but his threat was super serious.)

What in cookie loving hell would make him say that?

Well, in his defense, he never eats sweets, and when he does have the desire...they are always gone.  So began the hiding the sugar game.  Brianna and I have scaled the counter tops to see above the top cabinets, checked inside flour containers and pots, and combed the bottom of the pantry behind the rice more times than one only to find a ziplock bag of the leftover oreos or caramel corn that he hid.  Oh, he brings them out to share...but it's on HIS time. 

It's just what he does. 

So the only thing we can do to battle his hoarding is to eat them all before he can hide them.  It works for us.  Don't judge.

So last night was new territory, for sure.

Perfect chocolate chip cookies AND a threat?  I am married to a cookie monster.

What's a wife to do? 

So I did what any woman would do in my situation.  I convinced Kai that he had already eaten his two cookies that day (truth was it was only one), put him to bed before daddy-questioning could occur, and then plopped myself on the couch with a glass of cold milk and THREE cookies. 

There were still 16 cookies left on the counter when he came home.

And psssssssst.... 

FYI. Rowdy has begun to use our bedroom as his hiding room of choice. 


Bridget said...

ha ha ha. Love the threat.

Annette W. said...

What's the recipe!!??

I am a bit of a hoarder, too...or at least used to be. Better now. word for your blog. REAL.

Amy said...

I laughed so hard! I read some of this aloud to some of my fam. Makes me want cookies. Bad.
I'm on day 5 of a "no sweets" diet. It's hard, but I'm doing good so far. But mmm.... wish I could cheat right now.

The Stroud Family est. 2007 said...

Aaah Ha! We are married to brothers! David does the same thing but only he disguises his act of hiding by simply saying, "he put them away."
This of course puts me into a 30 min searching session as well- getting a little more "upset" by the minute.

Patty Ann said...

My husband cooks, and he hoards. He hides chocolate in our bedroom. (And he hates it when I go on a diet). I am telling you, it gets interesting around here.

likeschocolate said...

That is seriously too funny, but my husband does the same thing with chocolate. The other day as I was packing to move to our new house, I found two chocolate Santa's that he had hidden under his garments. I think he forgot about them.

Wendy said...

At least the hiding gave an opportunity for a treasure hunt. A yummy treasure hunt.

Charlotte said...

I better not let my husband read this. I tend to eat more than my fair share before he has a chance to get his and he might get the idea to start hoarding. I don't have time to search the house when I need a sweet tooth fix.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin