I haven't had a good cry in a long time. They came often in my teenage years. Hormones or something. And then when Rowdy and I broke up when we were engaged I had a pretty bad bout. Or when each of my babes went into the NICU right after birth. Those were horribly deep sobbing cries and the very memory of the breathlessness that I felt still brings me emotional pain. And what about those nights of complete helplessness? When the house was dark and the loneliness overcame my entire being.
Those nights held a very very good cry.
But these days, it just about drives Rowdy crazy for me to cry even one tiny bit, so I hold it back. And I figure a lot of tears are unnecessary anyway. I keep myself in check, and if I feel the need it is short lived and I wipe the tears away as quick as they come. I'm so strong, you see.
But today I realized that tears falling by the bucket full and snot dripping down my nose with a box of kleenex right by my side might be good for the soul. That maybe, just maybe, a good cry is all I need.