Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Defining Motherhood: a guest post by Amy



I am excited to introduce Amy as the first guest blogger in a week of posts to celebrate Mother's Day.  She is so optimistic in her writing and just about the best blog commenter I have ever encountered.  I hope that one day we can hang out because she is definitely a woman who embraces life.  That, and I could talk with an English accent all day and she would think that I am the coolest.  I am so glad that she is willing to share her thoughts on her recent loss of her baby girl....it certainly puts my role as a mother in perspective.

 


I have never changed my baby’s diaper.

I have never wiped away her tears.

I have never yelled at her for not cleaning her room.

I have never relied heavily on Baby Einstein dvds to keep her occupied so I can take five measly minutes to get dressed.

I’ve never spent a sleepless night trying to get her to go to sleep.

I’ve never even heard her cry.

Yet, I am a Mother.

I won’t see her learn to walk.

I won’t record her first words.

I won’t go shopping for her Easter dress.

I won’t ever watch her like a hawk around big crowds or swimming pools.

But I am a Mother.

Ella is my first long-awaited baby. She only lived for two hours after she was born. After all the doctor’s appointments, ultrasounds, and hospital visits, after all the fasting and the many tearful prayers, the miracles I’d been hoping for did not happen. I had to let my baby go.

Yet, with nothing to show for it but stretch marks and a c-section scar, I am still a Mother.

Everything that is beautiful makes me think of her.

When I hear a song that stirs my heart, I see her face.

And when I see a perfect sunset, a perfect flower, or the perfect morning sunshine, I remember my perfect little girl.

She’s not with me now, but one day she will be. Then, my miracle will happen.

Most mothers will never know the pain of losing their child. Most don’t want to even imagine it.

So don’t.

Don’t think about what you would do if you had to plan a funeral. Think about them here and now. Don’t think about what you’ll do when they’re just a little older. Don’t look ahead to when they’re “finally” potty-trained, independent, able to drive, or out of the house.
Just love them and show it. Mean it. Every single day of their lives.

Because you know what, Mom? They are your miracle.

21 comments:

Annette W. said...

Yes, you are a mother!

Wow. Tear filled eyes.

Brittney said...

That was beautiful! Thank you for that reminder.

Ruth said...

Every baby is a miracle, no matter what circumstance they come into this world. Thank you for sharing your story.

Sunshine Promises said...

Unfortunately, I too know the pain that you feel. Our 20 month old son - Bennett - passed away in his sleep in January. Words cannot express the heartache that we feel. But I know you know this. You ARE a Mother. The number of breaths your baby took does not change that fact. Your heartfelt writing testifies of it. And she WILL be yours forever. She will. And you will hold her in your arms again.
Much love to your Mother Heart -
Amanda from sunshinepromises.blogspot.com

Momza said...

Amy's heart is a mother's heart. Her body is a mother's body. And together, she is a complete mother.
Beautiful.

Chocolate on my Cranium said...

Simply beautiful!

Sue said...

I have no words to add.

Simply beautiful.

(thank you)

Blain&Deedra said...

I am a friend of Amy's, thank you for sharing her post. I cry at the thought of the pain she has been through. We all need a reminder of the beauty of motherhood.

Page Traveler said...

Amy is truly an inspiration to me, I am so glad you let her guest post. Thanks Amy for your strength. Love you!

Darci at pagetravelertales.blogspot.com

AZ Wrights said...

Amy..thanks for sharing and reminding:) Love you girl!

Lesa said...

Thank you, beautiful words!

rosa @ flutterflutter said...

Beautiful words that need to be heard. Thank you.

Aimee said...

lump in my throat.

sweet, true words.

Mommy #1 said...

I love that you said to not worry about losing a child - because that isn't really the point. Love is the point. Every moment is the point. Thank you! God bless you for your faith and strength! After all, HE is a Father! :-)

Melani said...

My friend Jami referred me to this post. This is perfectly beautiful! :) I have lost 2 baby boys, Evan was delivered at 21 weeks gestation, 1-15-10, and Kayden was delivered at 18 weeks 3-6-11. I have 3 living boys who I am loving and holding onto with all my mite! Being a mother to heavenly angels and earthly angels is quite the blessing! It's tough, but I've been blessed.

Melani said...

Perfectly beautiful! My friend Jami(who is a friend of Amy's) referred me to this post. I am a mother to 3 earthly angel boys, and two heavenly angel boys, both born still. I am a mother to the two I lost just as much as I am a mother to the 3 I have on earth, love doesn't change just because they aren't here with us. We are mother's no matter how long we have our babies with us on earth. Looking forward to the day we are reunited, until then, I will love, and SHOW that love, to the three I have here more and more each day.

Jen said...

Oh so beautifully written my dear sister. You ARE a mother and Ella is a blessing in all our lives. I love you and your amazing strength! Thank you for helping me be a better mother.

Marilyn said...

I am so proud to say that I am your mother. You are amazing and a wonderful writer! And I will always be Ella's grandma.

Bridget said...

Thank you for your touching post. It could not have been easy to write.

Geoff and Bets said...

thank you for reminding me to stay positive

Anonymous said...

2nd samuel 12:23 But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.

Sin has corrupted this world. The 10 commandments (laws of god) have been broken in all sorts of creative ways, but you must find the way/truth/light in order to be re-united with him/her.

You can get to him/her... You just have to find the one true god. one who overflows with blessings and forgiveness for those who love him.

Of all the religions in the world only one has a god who would die for those who love him. Read the bible and find the true god; Jesus.

god bless.

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