Friday, May 6, 2011

Defining Motherhood: a guest post by Wendy

I am so excited that Wendy from Blue Lily Photography (yes, you read that right!) agreed to guest post for me while they are gallivanting across the world on an adventure.  Besides the fact that she and her hubby are my photography idols, I adore the love that is so openly expressed for her children and I wanted to share that Mother's love some more.  (And secretly, now that we are totally tight--because guest posting on someone's blog automatically makes a woman tight with another (did you know that Wendy?), I'm hoping that I'll get a blog buddy photo session when they come to Seattle.  heehee. just kidding.  kinda.)  

It's so common for little girls to dream about one day becoming a mother. I was one of those little girls, and I'd often talk with my mom about what kind of mother I'd be when I grew up.

"I'll braid their hair and take them to dance lessons, just like you do to me, mom!" I'd say, with a huge smile on my face. I'd dream of all the babies I'd have and how I'd sew them matchy matchy clothes and make them fabulous dinners.

That's the kind of mom I had, so it was natural to think I'd be Mrs. Domestic. But wow, I was so wrong.

While I do every so often (read: once a decade) long to make a quilt or bake a dessert, for the most part, I'm completely uninterested in performing most "typical" motherly duties. I don't like cooking dinner, or grocery shopping, or menu planning. Thinking of being the mommy taxi driver for the kids makes my stomach churn, and decorating the house and attending PTA meetings just gets me antsy. I often wonder what went wrong with me, why I don't take any pleasure out of performing these duties, and why I did end up being so less domestic than my own wonderful, enriching mother.

But my mom loved us kids fiercely, as do I love my kids with my whole heart. Both my mom and I went through some years of infertility issues, and I think both of us learned a lot of patience from it. I can't say that the years we waited to have children made us love our kids any more than a mom who didn't need to wait. That's simply not fair. But I can say that though we do have such different mothering styles, we are ever so similar in how we love our children.

My mom constantly tried to instill a good work ethic in her children- I am trying, too.

My mom taught her children how to love one another- I am trying, too.

My mom loved her children whether they shared genes with her or not- I do, too.

My mom used her infertility trials to strengthen her spirit- I did, too.

My mom frequently prayed for patience with her children- I do, too.

My mom thinks children are funny and precious and sent straight from heaven. I do, too.

But the similarity in my mother and I that I value the most, I think, is that both she and I just knew we were meant to be mothers.

I knew I wanted to have the experience to teach little beings about life. I wanted to hold them, feed them, instruct them, show them. I wanted to have the great responsibility of bringing up a new human, and demonstrating to them what it means to live a full, happy, honest life.

It's certainly not easy to be a mom and have such enormous responsibilities, but it is definitely worth it. Sure, there are days that are hard and days that are extremely hard. There are days that I clean up the same part of the house three thousand times and wonder how I got into this mess. But deep down, at my core- I'm a mom. Just like my mom and my mom's mom. Women who feel inside them a greater purpose- to raise up children, no matter where they come from, no matter how they came to your family.

I'm so grateful for my two darling children, who finally came to our family. They bring such meaning to my life, such brightness and a happy spirit. I love them fiercely, with my whole heart. And even though I don't tend to bake, sew, or drive them to and from lessons all day, they know I love them. I show it in my own way. :)

1 comment:

Sue said...

Every mother has her own ways of showing love...I certainly do! (And a lot of it is not so "domestic.")

Happy Mother's Day!!


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