Monday, March 11, 2013

Light bulb.

 my green and white afghan thrift store purchase.  love.  

Dude.  Light bulb.  Rowdy and I were conversing last night (sometimes we married couples do that) and I was lamenting about how I am suffocating in our apartment.  I can't change anything--there is no other way our bed can face and there is no other way our couch can be arranged and I am super sick of feeling restricted space and decor-wise.  It's hard for me.  Interior design--bringing out my unique style--is something I love and I honest to goodness just can't do it where I am at.  I have spent a lot of time trying to.  Or feeling bad that I can't.  Or being irritated with how restricted I feel right now and can't I somehow do something that would make me feel better about our currents set-up? 

Then Rowdy said to me, "Why are you spending so much of your energy being frustrated with such a temporary time in our lives?  We won't be living in this apartment long enough for anything you do to matter. Try to find a way to be at peace for now...because it's such a small amount of time in the grand scheme of things."

This thought has never occurred to me before.  To be at peace with what I cannot change.

You see, I have always thought I could change anything because if I was creative enough...I could find a way to make it work.  But instead, I have been banging my head against the wall with frustration that my dresser can't fit anywhere else in my room and with that said, I must be missing some element to make it fit somewhere else in the room. But guess what?  It seriously can't fit anywhere else in the room!  For gosh sakes.  I can stop thinking about it!

Instead.  I can be at peace knowing that where I am at and how my apartment looks is simply temporary.  My style can be arranged in the future and just because I cannot do it now, does not mean I am any less unique or creative.  WHAT IF I spent that energy on a different aspect of my life?  WHAT IF I took that focus and created something different?  WHAT IF I channeled my passion into something greater and of more importance in the here and now?  

Good idea, no?


Sue said...

...and a hubby with lots of good insight!


Lisa S said...

You have a sister in me! lol We have been in a 900 sq ft condo for 12 1/2 years, having raised our two daughters with one bathroom. When we bought this place, I knew for sure it would be for about 5 years and then sell to move up into a bigger place......but alas, not to be the case. I have felt very frustrated over the years too.....and we haven't even done any fixing up....Their room is so full of stuff. The older one won't finish her mission in Chicago til the first week of August, and the younger one just got engaged Thursday night, and will probably get married in Jan. or, I know that soon enough they both will be out of the house for good and I will have a pretty much empty room to do with as I please......then I will miss all the stuff.
As I have always said, your home is where you make it and all the accumulation of stuff...well it's just stuff....gets old and wears out. The memories are in my head or pictures if I remember to take them.

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