Monday, June 14, 2010

It Is My Life

My MIL asked me what was wrong. I said, "Nothing. Why?" She said, "You've stopped blogging!"

Have I?

I laughed... wondering if this blog has now defined how I am doing day to day.

I read an article in the June Ensign about a woman who blogged so much that she started to mentally compose her post in her mind as moments in her day played out. I considered this situation...and if I was like that...and how sometimes Aaron will even say to me, "are you going to blog about this?"... and how often I undoubtedly say "yes." It sometimes embarrasses me a bit...knowing that he recognizes my possible obsession with this element of my life.

But for me, blogging is my journal. Yes-it's for everyone to see. Yes-it sometimes strays to interaction with others rather than today's remark about what my son said. But still, I photograph and write to my hearts content because IT IS MY LIFE. It is what I dream. What I laugh about. What I see.

I think it is worth recording.

After really contemplating this past week if I was one of those "mentally composing" women, I had an experience with my son. He was in pain..and I was comforting him...and I literally thought in that moment that I wanted to write about how I felt... but then I stopped myself and questioned my motives.

Afterwards, I finally came to the conclusion that I should write about it. That it was a moment that needed to be written and that I didn't have to feel bad about realizing that exactly when I did. And when I did finally write became a message to me that moved my heart and hopefully the hearts of those that read it in the future.

I first realized that photography was INSIDE of me when I began viewing life as though it was a picture. I would see the wind blow a leaf, a shoe in a window, my frosting-licking-children sitting on the kitchen counter and I saw it as ART. A photograph snapped in my mind. I wanted to capture the here and now. And that happens

Blogging is like that for me, too. I want to capture my life (or at least 1x a week;) through the way I decide to preserve the here and now (writing, display of photographs, etc.) because I want to remember...

This world that I live in is oh-so-lovely. The rain. The sticky fingers. The s'mores over the campfire.

This world that I create in is oh-so-lovely. My projects. My decorating. My photos that speak in stillness.

This world that I believe in is oh-so-lovely. My family. My spirit. My heart. My wit and hopefully wisdom.

And although I probably blog entirely too much. And although I think it does take some time away from my family and I am going to work much harder on prioritizing. And although I care way too much about if people actually read this darn thing....It IS MY LIFE. And I want it recorded for me, and just maybe for you if you care to look.

So my dear MIL. This post is for you.

Nothing is wrong. In fact, it is all very write.


PS. This article was not attacking blogging at all. In fact, it was a refreshing look at where our priorities lie and how we can better use the internet to add value to our life. Her small quote on blogging really awakened an acknowledgment in me as to why I blog and how it effects my life. I was grateful to read it and I appreciate all opinions on what it means to you and your life individually.


heather said...

Yes, yes, yes. I love the way you put all of this. I feel the same way!

Also, since I learned how to write I've composed things in my head. If it was good I'd repeat it over and over until I could find a piece of paper.

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Amen sista!! That's exactly how I feel.
I know I blog a lot. But when times get crazy it's usually my blog reading that suffers before my writing.

It has been a tremendous outlet for me in all the craziness!

Evelyn @ Hanging by a Silver Lining said...

I liked what you said about how YOU "preserve life". and you preserve it so well. I find myself viewing moments differently since I started blogging too. SOmetimes I appreciate that I am capturing moments, other times I am worried I am so busy capturing moments I am missing many other moments. I read a talk from Elder Uchdorf about finding balance and he specifically mentioned blogging. It was kind of hard to hear and it still pricks my mind every now and then.

Evelyn @ Hanging by a Silver Lining said...

P.S. I don't understand why you don't have more readers or at least give so much to love.

Evelyn @ Hanging by a Silver Lining said...

P.S. I don't understand why you don't have more readers or at least give so much to love.

iamwoman said...

Ahhh..that's so sweet of you to say Evelyn!

Tara said...

I love reading your blog you are always so brave and honest to say how you feel! I dont think I could be so, not as much as you and you are always so witty and fun to read!!

Anonymous said...

when i was really in to scrapbooking, i would compose layouts in my head as events were happening. now i have a fleeting thought about the event being something to blog about and then end up being too tired to follow through. more power to you!! it's journaling...isn't that a commandment or something?!

Jackie said...

I hope it's not bad that I'm always writing blog posts in my head! Glad I'm not the only one!

Charlotte said...

Sometimes it is like a post comes completely formed in my head and I need to write it down. The same thing happened before blogging, but it would just sit there festering. I love that I have an outlet like blogging. Writing down the experiences makes them even more a part of my life.

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