Monday, January 31, 2011

Bullied

What the heck?  You dare mess with MY daughter?

She faked sick because she couldn't handle going to her NEW school.  Now, my daughter is thankfully extremely resilient, so even though she has had to go to a few elementary schools, she adapts really easily and make friends immediately.  But not here.  And although  I believe some of it is just part of her sensitivity, I also believe that there are some real jerk kids out there.

I know I can't protect her.  I know that it's just life.  And Rowdy and I talk to her about that and what really matters is how she feels about herself, and that she needs to be a good example of how to behave regardless.  We have also immediately stepped in and spoke to her teacher, because I believe teachers need to know that parents are involved and aware so that communication is open.  But the mother lion in me really wants to roar when my kid comes home crying because she was called ugly, or a $%*#&, or pushed down by some bratty girl in her class. 

 Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

What's a mom to do???

15 comments:

Cherie said...

My son was being bullied at the beginning of the school year and also faked sickness - that's how we figured it out. Man, you are not kidding on the mama lion thing! I marched right over to that school and had a meeting with the Principal. It was resolved very quickly!

Sidenote: Now the huge kid who was bullying my son is a friend of his - go figure!

Hope it gets better for your daughter - i know that girls can be especially mean!!

leemeandthegirls said...

This is so my fear for my girls. Girls can be so terribly cruel. I am so very sorry. I honestly don't know it's harder on: the mother or the daughter. :(

Jocelyn Christensen said...

Make your presence known...very very known...including by the child and her parents!

Debby said...

I work in a before and after school program.
All of our girls are as sweet as can be BUT the boys are just awful. They are mean and disrespectful. I have been hit four times recently and told no on a daily basis. Scares me so much that my granddaughters will be exposed to this behavior. I know that girls can be mean as well but seriously I don't get it why these kids are so different now.
Don't be afraid to step in.....Good luck.

Lisa S said...

Oh my heart aches for you. My oldest daughter (almost 21 now) during middle school seemed to be an easy mark for mean girls. Some how I was able to teach her how to stand up for her self, and teach her to maintain her self respect and esteem.

So fast forward to high school...she is in her 10th grade English class and this boy is slowly waving his hand near her saying "oh I'm not touching you." I guess he had previously bothered her and she told him to leave her alone, and apparently hadn't listened to her the first time. Now mind you my daughter is no wimp nor a weakling. She is a strong girl. She is also a very spiritual and sweet girl. She grabs his arm and twists it and says firmly leave me alone.....all with the teacher sitting near by.
He never bothered her again.

Good luck to all of you whose kids are having these trials.

Patty Ann said...

I hate this. It is so aweful. Girls can be so mean. My daughter gets made fun of because she has tourettes. It is not fun. It is not nice. I finally went to the principle and they did an intervention. It hasn't solved all the problems, but it has taken care of the worst of them. So, my advice is go to the teacher, go to the principle. Talk things through and try and keep track. Being the new kid in town is really hard when they get to be middle school age. Some of the girls only like the ones they have grown up with. If possible, find something your daughter loves and encourage her to develop that talent. It will help her to feel good about herself and that will help to help her learn not to react to the mean-ness. The brats really want a reaction when they behave that way.

MommyJ said...

Oh, mean girls! I hate this for you. My daughter isn't quite old enough, I don't think, to have to deal with this just yet. But I know it's coming. Here's the thing though, Carrie, you are creating a home for your daughter where without any doubt, she will be one hundred percent loved and supported. She will always know that when she's at home, she is surrounded by people that think she totally rocks. That's the very best thing you can do. The world will always be full of people that are mean, people that say hurtful things, but none of that will matter in the end if she always feels love at home.

(Even still... my mama lion would be roaring too.)

Pasion Family said...

Don't be afraid to step in and put those girls in there place.. I would! I had a terrible incident occur in Junior High and it wasn't until my dad intervened that the issue got solved.

Kimberly said...

Oh man, I don't know! I am totally gonna be mother bear I think... Any pearls of wisdom, please pass them on!!

It stinks, huh?

Stef said...

Oh man, I would do what you did. I have, actually. It isn't fun and it breaks my heart. But, my son was able to work through it and has actually been able to be friends with the little boy. So, there is hope.

Amy said...

I had a hard time as a kiddo too. And I was never the new kid! I was just a late bloomer :)

I can sort-of understand the mama lion instinct. Even though my baby is in heaven, I still have that fierce love for her that I would do anything to protect her if she had ever needed it. And I have nieces and nephews that I would slap a bully for.

Seriously, sometimes I wish I could slap some sense into some of these crazy people! Why can't we just be nice??? I hope your sweet girl finds some good friends and good comfort. And like MommyJ said, I think she totally rocks! And I don't even know her.
So there.

NatureGirl said...

ugh

Charlotte said...

That is so hard. We moved into a place once where mt older two children were bullied and it was terrible! Luckily we didn't stay long. I don't know what I would have done if it were a long term thing.

I hope you find a solution that works. (This is always my fear when we move, that the kids will not find a good fit with the new school).

Melissa said...

Elementary kids can be so awful!! I had the worst elementary experience: I was the one that didn't have any friends. I would rather spend recess inside because I couldn't face playing all alone when everyone else had a group they could call their own.

I never told my parents about my feelings, and so they were never really there to help support me. I think it's great that you're making sure that your daughter knows that you're there for her. It would've been a whole lot easier to survive that elementary mess if I had known I could've confided my feelings to my parents.

I can't imagine the pain I would feel if my daughter was being bullied in school. I'd probably go ape-crazy on the bully's parents.

heather said...

I'm sorry. I'm kind of hoping to be a boy only mom because boys are easier (in my opinion!) when it comes to this type of thing. Boys operate differently, and I never did figure out/ understand the crazy rules women abide by. Pray, pray, pray she finds a friend!

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