Monday, January 3, 2011

I feel light

I feel light today.  Oh! that I meant my waistline after so many Christmas goodies, but back to that another day. 

Instead, my heart is light.

Perhaps it is because I am skipping work to get some much needed packing done.  Or the powerfully energizing steel-cut oatmeal with blueberries that I had this morning.  Or perhaps it is because I finally decided to make new year goals and I feel a promise kept in my future.  That is always a feathery feeling, no?  But really, I think it is more than that.

I think I feel light because for the first time in a long time, I feel confident in my role as a parent, as a wife, and as a woman. 

It may not last long...this feeling...but I will treasure this moment.  I will write it down.  And I will try to remember how my heart and mind and body feels when it is light.  How the possibilities come like waves on the sand.  Not disappearing when they are done...but molding and shaping the earth with a foamy rhythm.  How I relish the breeze and the lightness that comes with the roll of the tide.  How I welcome what I feel today. 

I really don't like resolutions.  I don't.  They always make me cringe with the foreboding fear of "what if I don't finish this darn thing?"  And then the guilt.  Oh! The guilt.  I feel guilt often.  You?

But I decided not to feel guilt today.  I am heading into a month of anxiety and exhaustion. I think the light breeze will turn into a rash wind at some points.  I expect it.  I don't welcome it, but I am ready because today I feel light.  I do not feel fear.  I see possibilities and dreams that just might come true.  I see a purpose and I feel a strength within me that I am proud to feel in moments like these. I think I feel this optimism because

I love my husband. (perhaps it is because he put a ring on it)

I love my children. (perhaps it is because I have had a break from their drama this weekend and I still missed them so)

I love myself.  (perhaps it is because today I recognize God in my life.  And that He loves me.  And that He is there to help me.  And that I am so very special in His eyes.)

I feel light today.

How I hope for this same feeling...for you.

What?  No one wants to answer my poll on the top of my sidebar?  ;) 


MommyJ said...

What a wonderful explanation of your feelings. I'm feeling light too... but mostly cause I'm just getting over a stomach virus. No, really. I can relate. I'm feeling good about this year too.

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

That's awesome!

I don't feel any different this year, but I totally blame it on my pregnancy. I've had a real tough time finding motivation or dive to do anything.

Still, I should count my blessings that I haven't had any depression! Just, the lazies I guess.

Mommy #1 said...

I don't know that I feel light -- but I feel hope and am starting to get back that feeling of confidence -- confidence in being me again; confidence in succeeding; confidence in realizing my dreams; confidence in overcoming weakness; confidence in being the mother and wife and sister and friend I always planned to be. That is what the New Year has brought me this year.

Patty Ann said...

What a wonderful way to count your blessings. I enjoyed this today. Thank you.

,,, said...

That was beautifully written and fun to read!

The Martos Fudge said...

That's an amazing feeling, I wish I could feel the same. And every once in a while, a long long while I do. And when I feel like that again I will remember you. Glad you feel light.

Pasion Family said...

I loved this post..Thank you for reminding me to see the light- my blessings.

Brenna said...

I just recently discovered your blog. . . wonderful! Thanks for sharing!

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