I was talking the other day with a friend about how often we look at ourselves and wish that we were like "so and so." I feel that for me, the Internet has actually made this worse to some extent because on blogs, sometimes, let's face it, women tend to appear perfect. Or at least somewhat put together, and crafty, and fashionably dressed all the while 5 children are getting their mad artwork skills on outside in their handmade playhouse. It can easily make someone feel like they are less if their life.is.not.like.that.
There have been a lot of great blog posts on the subject, and I even wrote a post last year about fearing to appear like I have it all together on my blog and how that is harmful. I also really appreciate this one about how blogs breed jealousy amongst women.
But it struck me this week that I only feel that way because I do not value myself. My self-worth is pending on how creative I can be and if I show it...and how many blog followers I gain (or lose)...and if my home or decor or mothering skills or creative parties are up to par with others. Instead of focusing on what I do, or what I have, I focus on what I can't accomplish, or wish I had.
And that thought really struck me this time. I know that I am often a glass half-empty kinda gal. But this new retrospect is different somehow. It is inside...deeper than knowing my obvious tendency towards jealousy. It is, in fact, rooted in loving myself.
Because if I loved myself, it would not matter what my neighbor had. I would be able to read a blog and appreciate anothers inspiration and abilities instead of feeling inferior. I would be able to go to work each day knowing that I was doing my best and that it doesn't make my ability to mother any less than women who stay at home. If I loved myself... "I" would be enough.
So, let's start shall we?
Guess what? My husband is in Grad School. Guess what? We live in an apartment. Guess what? I work and I don't have time to be as creative as I would like. Guess what? I'm not thin and physically where I want to be. Guess what?
`
THAT IS OKAY.
I'm a pretty dang cool person and we are all trying hard and "stuff" or "talents" or "baby raising abilities" do not alter that. We are enough. And we should love ourselves all the more for it.
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8 comments:
Hear, hear!
We could all do better with this, remembering to treat ourselves gently while we're at it.
=)
I love this. Oh so true. I need to work on being more content with who I am which is not necessarily what I do. Thanks for a lot of food for thought.
Sometimes we should love ourselves as much as others do. Wish it were that easy!
For what it's worth, I think you're a very cute, put-together, crafty, creative, brilliant person and I look up to you. Just so ya know.
It's funny how I sit down to catch up on blogs and read exactly what I need to. Thank you for that!
This post goes along with the latest pin on my quote board! "Don't let comparison steal your joy."
thanks...again
Truth. Although I have never said, "I wish I were just like Carrie," I have said that you are an amazing woman. You are very talented, even in those moments when you don't get to show it. You are gorgeous...inside and out. You are hilarious and when we are too old to do much else, your sense of humor will keep us all going. You have incredible style. I would take lessons from you on that. You are brilliant. I get some of the best ideas from you. You are a great Mom and my friend tells me you are a fantastic wife. So even though I'm not just like you, I do appreciate everything about you and I know the world is a much better place with you in it.
Isn't it sad that beautiful moments can sometimes be marred by jealousy or pettiness? How true this all is. And how sad that we as women so often let things be destroyed by lack of self love.
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