Lately I have felt so inspired to be still. I am not a still person. And if I am I feel completely LAZY--like when I watch Say Yes To The Dress (why do I do that?) on demand and then wonder why I couldn't be more productive. That's the type of action that I automatically associate with the word.
But life is fast and I just want to be still in a different, more sacred way. I want to listen to my children instead of putting them on time-out and becoming completely frustrated and angry that the dishes haven't been put away. I want to breathe deeply and feel gratitude. I want to take time to Spiritually uplift myself through reading or listening or praying. I want to be kind to my husband in action and words, which sadly, requires great concentrated effort on my part. And finally, I want to listen to my heart when the pounding of day-to-day chaos overcomes me. When the bathrooms are not clean because I have been sick and the dog that I detest has to be taken out and when I am overcome with fear and insecurity and worry.
In all of these moments, I want to be still.
As another year passes and my birthday approaches I DO see my accomplishments, but I also see what I lack and what didn't quite come true. The odd thing is that I am not upset about it. Some things on my wish list happened and those that did not will happen, you see? Maybe not this year. Or the next. But they will because they are my heart's desire. And my heart is never wrong. Never. It is my mind and actions that sometimes I do not trust, but my HEART is pure and good and does not ever lead me astray. And what my heart says is for me to relax and appreciate my accomplishments and love myself for what I will continue to be.
That I CAN BE...and WILL BE...still.