Monday, January 7, 2013

Bittersweet

(print found here)


Yesterday I was released from a calling at church (a volunteer position) where I taught the Relief Society (a women's organization).  I taught 1x a month and I LOVED it.  It was the perfect calling in my life right now where I don't have to prepare a lesson every week and I can go to the adult classes with no other weekly job to do.  I could sit and enjoy every Sunday, comment in class when I wanted to, and have zero other responsibility except for 1x a month.  And during that one Sunday, I was filled with gratitude to have the privilege to teach and learn and grow in that one hour.  Sometimes I felt jumbled in my presentation, but overall I felt like it was received well by the women attending and I always received an encouraging response and a simple feeling of joy.

And yet--I was asked to leave that ideal calling to be the Primary Music Leader (the chorister in our children's group).  It was a calling I have done a zillion times before.  There is nothing wrong with the calling, but I was NOT happy about it.  

I was a little ticked off, actually. Why did I have to leave something so perfect for me?

Yesterday when the news was announced I was in awe of how so many women were SAD that I would no longer be teaching.  I received so many compliments about my efforts and how I will be missed.  The Relief Society President even used the word "heartbroken" in class.  It made me feel so loved and surprised at such a response and valued.  I tried hard not to be sad about going elsewhere, but I just WAS. 

And then--as if an answer to a prayer--I was reminded how this is the last year that my daughter would be attending Primary and how I would now have the opportunity to be a part of that with her.  It surprised me--that I hadn't thought about that before--and what a blessing that will be to me and hopefully to her.

She is growing up so fast!  I try so hard to remember her as a little girl, but that almost seems impossible because she has grown into such a lovely young lady and how can I see anything else?  

There are moments I don't want to miss because I am already missing so many. They are both in school all day, I work, and the business of life often takes precedence over quality moments with my kids.  Time is fleeting and unlike before, I can thankfully now be a part of their life for two short extra hours every Sunday.  

Bittersweet, indeed.

10 comments:

Sue said...

It's always hard to leave a calling you love, and RS teacher was my last calling before they left me to fend for myself as the wife of the singles ward bishop. I was sad to leave, but my husband wanted me to attend all three sessions of his ward.

At any rate, you have done a good job of finding the ray of sunshine in this one, and I'm sure you are right...that you are exactly where you need to be for now. I just hope you get to serve as a Relief Society teacher again, and I'll bet the sisters do, too! (Wish I could sit in on a class!!)

=)

Shannon said...

Ha! Carrie I just got released as RS teacher too. And got called as a primary teacher. I felt it coming, and have never been a teacher so I was so excited. I was sad to leave RS calling cause it too is one of my favorite callings. So excited to be in with my kids though. I loved it on Sunday.

I bet you were a great teacher but also such a good chorister. Talk to my older sister and mom, primary chorister is their favorite calling. Really Lisa my older sister has some great ideas! Let me know if you need her email? Although you said you've done it a ton before.

Congrats! and I see the bittersweet. But fun!

Jeanelle said...

I totally get it...I'm actually starting to worry about when I'll get released from my current calling (have been in it for 2+ years.) It seems that we never get to keep the callings we *love* but I'm glad you are seeing the bright side. I'm a twice-former-primary chorister too and I adore that calling. I love that once I get into a groove, it can be almost easy and stress-free. And best of all is the huge amount of love that's present in the Primary room. Oh and even better? In 5 years when you're like me and in stake YW, all of the kids will remember you because you were their favorite music leader...

Chocolate on my Cranium said...

Bittersweet is such a good description! I'm glad you have found some good with your new calling, even if you have had it before {LUCKY!}. It's nice to get the recognition from the other women too. :)


Primary chorister has been my favorite all-time calling, although teaching the GC talks in RS is second. The calling I have right now though - Nursery - just might beat them all out. I am loving it in there!

Jocelyn Christensen said...

That is such a blessing. I have never had that calling...

Amy said...

What a tender mercy both the calling and the realization are for you! I just got released from primary and am actually very sad about it as my daughter just entered Sunbeams yesterday. Though there is a lot more weekly work required, I have always loved the calling of primary chorister.

Stef said...

I say this...your calling is THE most important on in the Primary. I think back to my days and all I remember are the songs. Not the sharing times. Not the lessons taught by my teachers. But the songs. I have been in Primary for the past 15 years of my life...and yours is the one they can't do without. Wear it with pride, sister! You are doing important things.

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

I feel like I'm constantly caliing-hopping. But I've been a R.S. instructor twice and I've always enjoyed it. I just got released from a 3+ year run as the Beehive adviser and was put back into Primary.

I've always wanted to me the primary chorister! Seems like I'm either a teacher or in the Presidency!

Kristie said...

Carrie, I am sure you were a wonderful teacher. I loved that calling too, and was sad to leave it behind. But, it's wonderful that you will have that time with Briana and also, she will remember her primary experience as though you were always the chorister. It's the stuff around her age that I remember most. And p.s. I remember her little. She was the cutest little thing in the world!

linda brown clark said...

Carrie started as primary chorister at the age of 2 weeks in her front pack carrier.... then moved to a back carrier and waved her arm in time to the music.. then when her brother was born it was leading primary music with him in a front pack and Carrie on the back...she never would go to nursery... so moved from backpacker to sunbeams and wanted to always stand to lead the songs!!!!!

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