Thursday, May 30, 2013

My son doesn't do his homework and I am totally ok with that

(recent trip to the Georgia Aquarium.  Total awesomeness.)

School is almost out.  What this means for me is:

1) Now I have to figure out how to entertain my kids since I have a job besides my mom-job and 
2) YES!  No more homework.

You see, it is time that I make a public confession. 

My son doesn't do his homework.  

My older daughter, yes, because she doesn't need me to help her (er... I have no idea how to do algebra to even TRY to help her).  But my son, who needs me to prod and beg him for an hour before he even picks up a pencil?  No way.  And, well, I don't really care.

Don't be hate'n.

You see, in an ideal world, my kids come home from school and eat a healthy snack and quietly sit at the table and finish what their teacher assigned them to do. And then when they are done we snuggle together and read for 30 minutes (because 20 minutes just isn't enough time for this precious moment.) And then they happily do their chores.  And eat whatever dinner I put in front of them. 

In MY world, my kids throw their backpacks down on the floor, sneak extra fruit snacks, and I don't see them for awhile because my office work is not yet complete.  By the time 6pm hits and I am exhausted from a long day, the last thing that I can emotionally handle is begging my son to write his spelling words 3x each.  Since his "weekly homework packet" is technically not due until Friday, it gets pushed off until Thursday night, when I suddenly frantically remember that he hasn't done a single first grader page.  And then more often than not I say, "forget it and go ahead and play with your lego's, son." 

Is he alive?  Is he well fed? Are his grades good? Does he know how to put the silverware away? YES! YES! YES! YES!

Then who cares about homework?

I know doing homework is supposed to prepare him for future grade levels, but I have to ask, is it really necessary this young?  I remember my Junior year of high school.  I got 5 hours of sleep every night between school, HOMEWORK, extracurricular activities, home chores, gossiping about that girl who likes the boy I like,  etc.  Can't we just let kids be kids while they have a chance?  You know, before reality sets in and teachers tell them that if they don't do their homework they will never get into college? 

Unfortunately my passive feelings really don't stop with just homework. I got a letter saying that my kids were late to school 3x in one month and that it seriously effects their learning so quit it.  I wrote the reason the next time they were late...I'M TIRED. 

Is it possible to still be considered a good mom with such a lack of regard for certain school protocol?  I freaking hope so.

I have wondered what his teacher thinks of me.  I mean, isn't it obviously the parent's responsibility to oversee that completed homework gets back to school?  So, it's obvious that I am the one making it NOT happen, right?  Or can we put the blame on a 7 year old? I have been telling myself I can.  Kids will be kids, you know?  The dog totally ate it.  

The basic truth is I would rather hang out with my kid doing fun stuff like folding laundry together (match the socks!  It's educational!) then beg and plead for him to finish that last page.  I would rather read a book when we feel like it then spend precious time marking down how many minutes we read each day.  I would rather tuck him in at night and kiss his cheek and ask, "what was your favorite part about going to the aquarium last week?" then worry about locating that one assignment.   

I would rather do anything than pile on more Mom-guilt...as though I don't have enough already.  

And so, for the last few weeks of school I have decided to put that guilt away and not worry about his last report card that says he doesn't do his homework. As far as I am concerned, his HOMEwork is done with the time we spend together--snuggled up--watching the Disney Channel.

Personally, I'd give my kid an A+ on that one.  

PS. He DOES complete his homework sometimes. I promise I am not THAT neglectful to his teacher's request:)


4 comments:

Megan said...

I'm a Parent :) and a Teacher at the school my son is at . . . and if he is blah-zay about an assignment, I totally am too - - hes in 5th grade. Maybe his homework/assignments are important, maybe they're not - but - it's totally OK with me if he gets a 60 on an assignment that he blew off and waited til the last minute. . . and I'm sure that gets on his teacher(s) nerves. . .but. . . he gets good grades, he's well-liked, he's respectful in class. . .so. . . oh well. :) Have fun!

Amy said...

Kindergarten starts for us in the fall. I have worried about the homework. I never had homework until I was in jr. high! You have given me courage to ignore it. Thank you! I agree, kids should be kids longer. And you are a wonderful mother. Spending time and making good memories is better than hounding to do homework.

Kelleyn Rothaermel said...

I confess too because we didn't do the last week of homework either. We were just to busy!

Lisa S said...

Homework is just too over rated.
Amy...please don't sweat it about the kindergarten homework. If your child gets a packet let him or her figure out that they can free up the rest of his or her week by doing it all the first day or two. Then the only thing they have to do is read each night. I taught 1st grade in Pasadena a while back and that's what I told the parents.

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