Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Today I let go

Some people cry when their child goes to school for the first time. Not me. I think I threw a party, actually. Some people cry when their child loses their first tooth. Not me. If I recall, there was some serious tooth fairy madness around here. But today my daughter rode the bus to school for the first time, and I did cry, and I can't stop actually. I would have continued to drive her to school forever, because letting her ride on a school bus would mean that I was letting go. And is that ever a good thing?

Letting her ride the school bus--- I would be risking so much. The not knowing if big kids were making fun and stealing her spot. The not knowing if she was safely seated. The not knowing if...well...I can't even explain it. There just happens to be a lot of not knowing pictures in my head. Brianna has asked for YEARS when she could ride a bus. "When you are in 4th grade" I said. Seemed far enough away. But that's what you do in this neighborhood. You ride the bus to school. "You drive her to school? Do you know there is a bus?" they all say.

Yes, I know. And today I let go....

7 comments:

Rachel said...

I am soooo scared to let Preston ride the bus when he starts school! I will want to drive him but I know that that will only last for so long. And I will cry when he rides the bus. Your pain is a prelude to my coming pain.

Mary Seals said...

Oh, sweetie, that's just a little baby step to prepare you for days like letting your 9-year-old go on a two-night co-ed field trip in a foreign country. This is when you can truly say "I was a wreck the whole time".

Bethanne said...

Oh, blast. Leah is still only 4 and asks me everyday about when SHE can ride the school bus. And with Jackson, I don't think I'll be as worried...he is fairly outgoing and loud. With my sensitive, quiet, Leah? I want to tell her some fib like "sorry, but Leah's aren't allowed to ride the bus. it's a rule." How bad would that be? It scares the bejeebers out of me to allow the bus ride!

Sarah in the Middle said...

I'm already scared to let Juli go to school, much less the bus! Brianna will do amazingly, I'm sure, but I know that doesn't really make it any easier.
Busses - who needs 'em?
(There will be something mahvelous about having her just miraculously show up on your door every afternoon!)

Pittman Four said...

Katharyn is riding the bus for the first time this year... She's in
6th grade. She hates it. It was out of necessity this year. I can't pick her up in the afternoon (because of student teaching) and she has to ride it home. In middle school and on the bus. I felt like a bad mother. I still do a little bit, especially because she doesn't want to ride. But, what do you do. At least she wants to ride the big yellow bus. That's always a plus.

Pittman Four said...

I mean at least yours wants to ride the bus....:)

Jen O said...

I rode on the bus until I got my driver's license, but I don't know how my mom felt the first day. I'll have to ask her. Hope it gets easier for you. Stay strong, sister.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin